There are reports on the internet that the suicide rate is dominated by men. In some well-developed countries, it is clearly reported that more than seventy percent of suicides are committed by men. At the same time, the divorce rate increased greatly worldwide. A head of village in the island of love Bali shared a story, even when the cost of penalty has been raised many times, the divorce rate still keeps increasing.
The last story provides clear feedback that family need much more cool and fresh air in order to save souls. Most friends who have been married to the same partner for decades will understand, marriage is the meeting point of many differences. From differences in education, backgrounds, personality until childhood experience.
Similar to different irons in a machine, without lubricant, these differences would cause dangerous collisions. Ego, self-esteem, intelligence, pride, are all irons which are ready to clash dangerously anytime and anywhere. It does not only create a dangerous environment for the family, but also can guide the soul plunge into a deep valley like suicide.
For that reason, family need a lot of lubricant oil. And among the many existing lubricating oils; forgiveness, acceptance and compassion are the best choices. As a series of ideas, these can be easily digested. But as a series of daily practices, this is far from easy. There is strong inner resistance that comes from within, there’s certain power inside which is not ready to change.
Do not talk about people who have a lot of advantages, even those who are born with many flaws also admitting that to forgive is difficult. And the crucial factor in this case is selfishness. Selfishness is similar to a snowball that has long hardened inside. But do not worry, there is sunlight which is ready to make the snowball of ego melt.
On the path of meditation, the sun shine that can help in this case is called the practice of mindfulness. There are two faces of mindfulness practice that need to be underlined in this case. First, whenever there is movement of energy inside like thoughts and feelings, it is always advised to be a compassionate witness. It is as simple as a person standing on the riverbank who keeps watching every flow of energy inside.
Second, it is similar to the flow of night and day, there is always a flow of thoughts and feelings inside. Sad-glad, pain-sorrow, ill-health, bad-good, wrong-right, blame-praise, they are all flowing. The snow ball of ego is very strong inside because someone is greedy to choose bad over good, to prefer praise over blame.
And the sun of mindfulness begins to shine bright when someone keeps watching every movement of inner energy. At the same time, learn to understand deeply that everything flows. After joy there will be sorrow. After praise there will be blame. Once the pleasure goes, the pain will come.
Each friend who deeply practices mindfulness knows, as soon as the sun is brightly shining within, then the snow ball of ego will melt slowly. Surprisingly, in line with the melting of the snow within, forgiving can be done in an easy way. The inner soul garden is suddenly full of flowers within.
At this stage of attainment, it is easy to ask a man to love his wife. It is easy to ask the wife to take good care of her husband. In the world of happy family, it is often shared a message like this: “man who loves his wife is destined to be a prince”. Because of the perfect love of the husband, then his wife is turned into a beautiful princess. And as soon as the consort becomes princess, then the husband is naturally becoming a prince. In this approach, family can be transformed into beautiful gardens of souls.
Author: Gede Prama.
Photo Courtesy: Twitter @Drc_19.
Proofread by: Kirsty Spence.
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Pesan Gede Prama dalam bahasa Indonesia bisa dibaca di gedeprama.blogdetik.com atau fb Gede Prama’s Compassion
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