What is the secret behind the long-lived marriage?. That's the question of
many young generation who want long-lasting marriage. Some of friends who
married to the same partner for more than a quarter of century understand,
marriage is the melting of two bodies into one beautiful soul.
However, the process of melting these two bodies into one beautiful soul
takes a very long time. We should pass many trials and obstacles. This long
journey is very complicated and difficult as well. Marriage is not like the
meeting of nuts and bolts which fit from the beginning until the ending.
Marriage is a continuous struggle to love and love again.
To make it simple but deep, the process of melting the two bodies into one
beautiful soul grow like this. Initially, all couples are interested in their
spouse because of somethings outside such as face shape, posture, the way to
speak, similarity of education. Marriage which is based on something
outside usually do not last long, even sensitive to conflict. It is like the
rind which is not always reflect the quality of fruits within.
Any couples who can pass this obstacle at the beginning, then they can grow
deeper, they are no longer interested in their pair because of something
outside, but because of certain qualities inside. Patience, tolerance, the
ability to forgive, the sincerity to serve, the quality of love to the family
and children are some of inner qualities which make marriage last long.
The biggest temptation at this level comes from ego and selfishness. It is
usually present in the life of people who have many advantages such as
intelligence, wealth, fame. The failure to continue the family in this stage is
usually come from the inability to forgive. Again, the main cause is ego and
selfishness.
Every family which last long is always characterized by the sacrifice of
one party at certain time, then at the other time the other party will
sacrifice their ego. In summary, learn to sacrifice the ego. Without the
sincerity to sacrifice, any family will definitely collapse.
Having been softened and purified by the ability to be humble and forgive,
by then the couples grow to the level three. While in the first level people
are interested in somethings outside, in the second level couples grow together
because of certain qualities inside, at the third level one begin to see their
spouse as a true soul mate.
In this third stage, what has been inherited by Jalaludin Rumi appear as
direct experience and direct insight. It is no longer a dead theory but a
living experience. Rumi once advised: "what or who you love for long time
hides a secret of who you are".
In other words, once a beautiful soul grow deep in the institution of
marriage, they do not only find soul mate, much deeper than that they also find
the secret of who they are. A friend who has spent 37 years with his wife told
that the most beautiful part of his wife is her softness. The spiritual message
then, softness is part of his soul that must be perfected in this life.
Another friend who spent nearly forty years living with the same partner
opened a secret, she discovered a secret about herself behind her partner's
name. At the top of this, every beautiful souls who grow deep in the
institution of marriage, they do not just find soul mate, they do not only find
the secret of who they are, they finally find life as dancing of peace.
Author: Gede Prama
Photo Courtesy: Twitter @MarionSpekker.
Photo Courtesy: Twitter @MarionSpekker.
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