Here and there, there is a rising number of
divorces, here and there. there are rising suicide rates, here and there the
inhabitants of mental hospitals are also rising. And it is not right to
criticize this or that, but an invitation to do something to make our current
rebirth more useful and meaningful.
And one of the social units in the community
that has the potential to be invited to cool the violence is family. Especially
because the cool family has the potential to make the community cool as well.
Moreover, family is similar to the port for ships, similar to airports for
aircrafts. A cool place where deficiencies can be processed into materials of
growth.
Referring to a number of works on the
psychology of relationships, the psychological sides of the husband-wife
relationship, it is important to recognize two instincts. Firstly, is the
mother instinct (an instinct that is inherently owned by any mother) that
settles in each wife. Secondly is the heroic instinct (instinct of heroism)
which is naturally stored in each husband.
What makes this journey challenging, these two
instincts appear to the surface in different faces. So, it takes a very high
sensitivity to make someone find these two instincts, as well as use it as
materials of action in daily life.
Let's start by understanding the mother
instincts. To be honest, every women no matter how hard they appear outside, no
matter how rude her language is, have the seeds of motherhood inside. Because
of the trials and challenges of the past in particular, some women have tried
to cover them up. Nevertheless, the seed of motherhood still grows in there.
The duties of a husband then, providing an
opportunity for these seeds to grow in healthy and beautiful way. To make it
concrete, give the wife wide opportunity to be very close to the boys in
particular. Give them time together, being happy together, recreation together,
until the children feel the softness of her mother. It is even better if the
children get very close to the mother, until they tell the mother the very
secret things that are very personal.
The surface signs that this motherly instinct
began to grow, her body is healthy, her face looks more beautiful from day to
day, she feels at home with family, she is not interested at all in the temptation
of infidelity. Above all, she will take good care of the family like taking
good care of her own body.
The story of the heroic instinct is different.
As carved in old caves tens of thousands of years old in southern France and
northern Spain, men have always been happy to be placed in a heroic position.
In ancient times, the symbol was a man who could hunt wild animals. In this
age, men are generally responsible for the family's financial safety.
Responsible also for the stability of the family as a whole.
It will be good that a wife gives her husband
the opportunity to have the best career, the highest schooling, encouraging him
not to give up easily. And most importantly, inviting the children to honor
their father, just as the ancient societies honored men who like to hunt.
The surface signs of a man whose heroic
instincts had grown, his self-confidence improves from day to day, he has high
responsibility in the family, he can even make sacrifices for family safety,
his appearance tends to be more sympathetic as he grows older, and he is not at
all interested in the temptations of infidelity.
The beautiful blend of a healthy mothering
instinct, with heroic instincts can make family grow in a very healthy way, it
can make families not only survive, but also it can make the family become cool
trees for countless souls. From the last cool trees, we can illuminate a lot of
darkness in this day and age.
Author: Guruji Gede Prama.
Photo: Dreamstime.com.
Proofread by: Kirsty Spence.
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